And so here we are, about a month later. Things have settled down SOME, but not entirely. The 3 year old still has issues, and the 2 year old does, too.
This past week we began therapy for the boys. We met with a therapist who has an amazing reputation in this area, and did the intake, assessment process. I swear, I tend to not get fuzzy feelings about the boys' social worker each time I see her.
This time, we learned even more about these poor kids' background that she failed to tell us. However, it is done now. I know that God does not make mistakes, and He put these boys in our lives for a reason.
After the intake/assessment, my hubby and I talked frankly about if we should, or should not keep the boys, and I was so happy to find out that he wants to KEEP them, as I do!
We found out that we are the boys FIFTH placement--that made me so MAD!!!! Imagine this 2 and 3 year old being moved around that many times! Think of their AGE, and being moved that many times! That would be hard for an adult with coping skills to handle, imagine for them! They can't even verbalize their feelings! No wonder for the tantrums, and the anger! No wonder! We can't send them back! We WON'T be the ones who send these boys back!
The 2 yr old at this point, is fearfully attached to me. It took him a while to warm up to me, but now he won’t let go! LOL. I didn't understand why until I found out about the five placements! He fears he will lose me, too! I must admit, being the sun, moon, air and stars for someone is exhausting, but I mean, if it helps the little guy feel more secure, then ok, follow me around--- I just have to ditch him when I have to go to the Ladies’ Room!
The 3 year old has real anger issues. I guess who can blame him? I would be angry too if I had had the things they have had happen to them, happen to me.
I had a conversation with the 3 year old a few weeks ago after he got in trouble in daycare. I told him that even when he is a turd, he is still my big baby (the 2 yr old is my Little Baby). I told him even when he makes me mad, he is still my baby.
I feel that I am getting through to him---he had an AWFUL day today, and he asked me as I was getting him ready for bed. “I was a turd today?” “Yes, you were.” I answered. “I’m still your baby?” He asked. “You’re still my baby.” I told him. He seemed to understand. He smiled, and wrapped his arms around my neck and hugged and kissed me. “I will try not to be a turd tomorrow.” He murmured as I put him in bed and covered him with his Spiderman blanket. “Ok, baby.” I replied. “You try, but if you fail, you are still my baby. Even if you make me mad!”
At any rate, we are still chugging along, still praying for guidance, still praying for the healing of the hearts and souls of our boys.
In the meantime, I am SOOOOO looking forward to all of the FIRSTS we will enjoy together as a family! SOOOOOO excited! Trip to the White House, their birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas…..SOOOO EXCITED!
Till the next update, please continue to keep us uplifted in prayer, and I thank and welcome all creative forms of discipline-- they have really come in handy since spanking is NOT an option.
