Lowering the expectations, and preparing for the inspection.

So far, our adoption classes are going great.  We learned this past week, that we should not go into this with any expectations—which is kinda hard.  How do you do that? How do you expect nothing, when this means everything to you?

We have found several different sets of children in which we are interested in, but none of their social workers are interested in us until we finish completely, and are licensed fully by the state…and so, we press on.

Now we are preparing for the fire marshal’s inspection. We have to have our fire extinguishers’ mounted; ensure that no beds are near windows; make sure all batteries in all smoke and carbon monoxide detectors are new; we have to make sure all exits are clear of clutter (guess I have to move that chair I keep by the door—just kidding); we must have exit routes clearly marked in a central location of the house and on the back of all bedroom doors (seems futile to me, since in the case of an emergency, who really has the time to look on the back of their door to see where to go??); and the most expensive of all preparations for the fire marshal, is that we have to replace all of our power strips and extension cords with UL approved surge protectors – those things are EXPENSIVE!

At any rate, in case any were wondering, we are still in the game, we are still going through, and it is indeed a very long process!

I think the hardest thing we have to do in preparation, is what I told you above: get rid of all of our expectations. I think this will be hard because as stated, it is very difficult to turn off those emotions.  When you have wanted a family for so long, and it finally comes to fruition, you have so many dreams and hopes, and wishes that you want…you have dreamed about ways to improve the lives of these children, and expose them to better things they may have never experienced before. So with this in mind, it really does boggle my mind as to how do we lower our expectations?

I –I do not know about my hubby—but I am now afraid of what to expect.  I mean, I have prayed about this, and I have prayed that God send us the kids he means for us to have, but I do worry.  We heard in class where one person said that her friend adopted, and that she had to tell the child, “When you are ready for me to be the mom you want, you tell me.” Wow. That was powerful, and I wonder if I have the strength to do this? I wanna be the mom they want then…I mean, I’m not crazy, I do know that I won’t be “mom” right away, but will I ever be?

What if they are never ready? What if they never call me mom? This is my fear…I must now try to find it within me to lower my expectations, un-plan all that I have planned, and wait for the unknown, and pray that everything works out.