OMG! Can this day get any better????? Right after I posted the last blog, I checked my email to see TEN profiles of waiting children across the state!!!!! Talk about having the wind knocked out of you! We didn't expect to get any information about any children until after we are licensed during the fall, so to get information NOW...we just do not know what to do, or how to act? Hello? Dinner on the town? Perhaps! I would say that this is a cause for celebration!
TP sent us the profile of the two little girls I mentioned before that we fell in love with from their video online, and after reading their profile, we still really want them. TP also sent the profiles of other sibling groups wishing to remain together, and you can tell, she really...really would like for us to take 3 kids if possible, but don't worry, I'm not as naive as I look! LOL.
TP also sent us the profile of a set of two year old twins, T and T (a boy and a girl). They are absolutely adorable, and as with most twins, they were born prematurely, and therefore have some developmental delays, but are other than that, in very good health. They are described by their foster parents as loving, and adorable, and that the girl can throw a temper tantrum if she does not get her way. LOL. I actually love this tidbit, as it shows that these two have been extremely loved in their foster care placement, which does my heart good.
I would not mind two year olds, however, daycare? Diapers? Pull-ups? Am I ready for that? Rolling around on the floor playing is NOT a problem as I am a big kid myself, but I do not know if we are grown up enough to be able to afford daycare, diapers, and pull-ups.
For now, even with all of the wonderful profiles TP sent of some truly amazing kids who have beaten the odds and are looking for their forever home, our hearts still truly belong to D and B, and may be that way until we are told they are no longer available.
At this time, we are still reading through the profiles, and still praying that God will see us through, and make a way.
Until later, Anticipating Parenthood
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Adoption---My Blog --- The first meeting!
Today we had our first meeting with TP. It went really well! Our meeting was around 45 minutes, and she basically just wanted to put faces with names and email addresses. She gave us the typical scary speech about the issues that some of these children have, and asked us some questions about what we do NOT want. For instance, we do not want a bi-polar child. This is just due to my having taught a few bi-polar children in my past, and being scared out of my mind when one of the children grabbed a pair of scissors off my desk and proceeded to chase another student with the intent of stabbing that other child. I had to call security, who had to send in the BMT (Behavior Management Technician) to physically restrain that child. I do not think I could deal with that in my home....
We also decided that we do not want a child who has RAD, which basically is a child who can not form positive attachments to others. This is going to be a child, that no matter what you do with and for them, they can not create bonds with others. This diagnosis, in all honesty, reminds me of a sociopaths---a person who can do unspeakable things to people...not just people, but others, and feel no remorse for their actions. This is not what I want to open my heart to.
We are still very committed to the first two little girls we saw who stole our hearts. TP doubts that those two girls will still be available upon our completion of licensure, but we are continuing to pray that they are.
TP also informed us today, that this was the only meeting we will have with her in her offices until training begins in the fall, and that from this point on, our meetings will take place in our home....you know what this means, right? Good lawd! I must keep the house super duper clean! LOL.
Also, another great thing? TP HATES DOGS! LOL She said our dog was cute, but that she would just adore it, if we would see fit to put her in her crate when she visits us! This is perfection! Cujo Puppy will not be an issue!
So, you may be wondering what now? Well, we must complete our 30 page profiles, we must complete our financial forms, we must revise our photo profile (which by the way, she felt was way too long, but hey! All who know me, know I am an over-achiever), we must take licensure classes in the fall, we must have complete physicals and have the results given to TP, we must have the home study completed --- which by the way; if we were not adopting waiting children, cost over $1000.00!!!!---and we must choose a child)ren).
Until next time, continue to keep us in prayer,
Anticipating Parenthood.
We also decided that we do not want a child who has RAD, which basically is a child who can not form positive attachments to others. This is going to be a child, that no matter what you do with and for them, they can not create bonds with others. This diagnosis, in all honesty, reminds me of a sociopaths---a person who can do unspeakable things to people...not just people, but others, and feel no remorse for their actions. This is not what I want to open my heart to.
We are still very committed to the first two little girls we saw who stole our hearts. TP doubts that those two girls will still be available upon our completion of licensure, but we are continuing to pray that they are.
TP also informed us today, that this was the only meeting we will have with her in her offices until training begins in the fall, and that from this point on, our meetings will take place in our home....you know what this means, right? Good lawd! I must keep the house super duper clean! LOL.
Also, another great thing? TP HATES DOGS! LOL She said our dog was cute, but that she would just adore it, if we would see fit to put her in her crate when she visits us! This is perfection! Cujo Puppy will not be an issue!
So, you may be wondering what now? Well, we must complete our 30 page profiles, we must complete our financial forms, we must revise our photo profile (which by the way, she felt was way too long, but hey! All who know me, know I am an over-achiever), we must take licensure classes in the fall, we must have complete physicals and have the results given to TP, we must have the home study completed --- which by the way; if we were not adopting waiting children, cost over $1000.00!!!!---and we must choose a child)ren).
Until next time, continue to keep us in prayer,
Anticipating Parenthood.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Adoption ---My blog -- The 30 page profile!
This thing is a BEAST! I honestly wonder if people in real life had to complete this profile BEFORE having kids, then there would NOT be any children looking for a home in this world. They asked us (each mind you) about how we met, our courtship, why do we like being married, memories from childhood dealing with your mom, dad, siblings, grandparents, and school. They asked about how our parents showed love, anger, disappointment. They asked about our feelings towards nudity, how would we discipline without spanking --they even asked us to list the methods we will use. They asked us would we be willing to give up our pet if the child has allergies, would we support the child if they one day want to find their biological family, how would we react to the child speaking idealistically about their abusive parents...they asked would we take it to heart and be offended if the child one day decides to find their family. They asked what methods we plan on using to raise the children, and another (but obviously not ALL of the questions from the 30 page profile), they asked us under what circumstance, would we ever return the child....to which I answered...if the child tried to kill me. I feel this way, because if that ever happened, then obviously, my attempts to reach out, are NOT working, and I can not trust a person after something like that....
It was discouraging completing this profile while in the midst of it. I kept feeling like 30 pages, is a LOT of rope to hang oneself! I felt extremely nervous....I felt myself wondering if my husband would go along now...he wants the child, but as one can imagine, anyone would feel overwhelmed and defeated when confronted with a 30 page profile. He says he wants to complete it, but each time he looks at his, I see him look a little depressed. I know another part of his worry, is that he has been asking me about mine, and he is a little worried about the portion that deals with him losing his mother, and his memories of his mother from his childhood. I know he is NOT looking forward to re-hashing such painful memories, as remembering her, will surely bring back the pain of losing her again.
And then, on page 31 of the profile, we learned that we have to create a photo profile. Kinda like an ad campaign of why someone should pick us to adopt a child. We need pictures of friends, family, our dog....we are supposed to make our family look "fun." We have to put all of these pictures together, and then WE are responsible for getting TWENTY COLOR profiles created to be given out to various agencies.
On this portion, I intend to ask TP if we can only submit one photo profile since we already know the children we want -- "Dee," and "Bree".
And so with the end of this blog today, my next steps are to begin compiling pictures of my family, friends, and dog; take pictures of my house; begin addressing another question asked about how I would make the house safe (purchasing outlet covers, and cabinet locks), and trying to calm my frazzled nerves about this entire process as I begin to feel increasingly more and more nervous with all of the attached tasks recently given.
It was discouraging completing this profile while in the midst of it. I kept feeling like 30 pages, is a LOT of rope to hang oneself! I felt extremely nervous....I felt myself wondering if my husband would go along now...he wants the child, but as one can imagine, anyone would feel overwhelmed and defeated when confronted with a 30 page profile. He says he wants to complete it, but each time he looks at his, I see him look a little depressed. I know another part of his worry, is that he has been asking me about mine, and he is a little worried about the portion that deals with him losing his mother, and his memories of his mother from his childhood. I know he is NOT looking forward to re-hashing such painful memories, as remembering her, will surely bring back the pain of losing her again.
And then, on page 31 of the profile, we learned that we have to create a photo profile. Kinda like an ad campaign of why someone should pick us to adopt a child. We need pictures of friends, family, our dog....we are supposed to make our family look "fun." We have to put all of these pictures together, and then WE are responsible for getting TWENTY COLOR profiles created to be given out to various agencies.
On this portion, I intend to ask TP if we can only submit one photo profile since we already know the children we want -- "Dee," and "Bree".
And so with the end of this blog today, my next steps are to begin compiling pictures of my family, friends, and dog; take pictures of my house; begin addressing another question asked about how I would make the house safe (purchasing outlet covers, and cabinet locks), and trying to calm my frazzled nerves about this entire process as I begin to feel increasingly more and more nervous with all of the attached tasks recently given.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Adoption -- My blog --We got a meeting!!!!
Today was a most exciting day! Not necessarily the day itself as all I truthfully did was lie around enjoying the last remaining dregs of my waning summer vacation, but at 4:53 pm today, we finally got a response from the social worker who has been assigned to our adoption case! Her name from this point on, shall be T.P., but we are meeting with her next week! In the meantime, we each have a thirty page family profile sheet that we must complete that asks all kinds of questions such as: How did we meet? What was our courtship like? What is the one thing that irks you the most about your spouse? What are the attitudes of the people in your neighborhood, etc. etc. We also must provide copies of our driver's licenses, car insurance policies, high school diplomas, college degrees, references, taxes, marriage license, and so far, that is "all." I know, right? That is enough! LOL. But hey! In the end, we are tucking our child in to their bed, it will be worth it!
Also, we were informed in the email, that we must both complete the MAPP GPS training together, and that there are 5 classes that we must attend, beginning sometime in October. I did promise earlier that I would explain to you what GPS MAPP training is, so this is what it stands for: Model Approach to Partnerships in Parenting --Group Preparation and Selection. Talk about a mouth full! Not only do we have to take part in all five of these classes, but we must also get trained and certified in CPR/First Aid before moving on.
Well, it appears this process is well on its way, and as stated already, we are more then ready to run this race with endurance, to see what the end will be. Until next time, Be Blessed!
Also, we were informed in the email, that we must both complete the MAPP GPS training together, and that there are 5 classes that we must attend, beginning sometime in October. I did promise earlier that I would explain to you what GPS MAPP training is, so this is what it stands for: Model Approach to Partnerships in Parenting --Group Preparation and Selection. Talk about a mouth full! Not only do we have to take part in all five of these classes, but we must also get trained and certified in CPR/First Aid before moving on.
Well, it appears this process is well on its way, and as stated already, we are more then ready to run this race with endurance, to see what the end will be. Until next time, Be Blessed!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Adopting -- My blog --- The process involved
A lot of people have asked me what is the process for adoption. Well, from reading the materials that came along with the application, The first step was to call and ask for information as to how to adopt, then fill out the application (which we have already done). Next, your completed application is referred to an agency social worker in your area, and they will contact you (hopefully this won't take long to happen). Then, we will meet with the social worker to discuss the services they provide. If all of this goes well, we will then be placed in training known as MAPP-GPS (I'll give you the meaning later). After this training is complete, you have the home study....THIS is where I fear my dog Sage will try her best to imitate Cujo....after the the home study (should Sage allow them to leave with all limbs, clothing, hair pieces, etc in tact), we begin to explore the type of child or children we will feel we could provide the best home for. THEN, at THIS point, we will be considered for children. So now, once we have been selected for a child, or children, we will at THAT point be given all available information about the child(ren)'s background. Step 9: Pre-placement visits begin in the child's home community, and then in our home to give us all the opportunity to bond. At this point, we will meet others who have played significant roles in the child(ren)'s lives such as social workers, teachers, foster parents, counselors, etc. Step 10: we bring the child home, and the social worker continues to provide support as we become a family through the adoption. Step 11: the adoption is FINALLY COMPLETED! It is a long process, a long race indeed, which only makes me think of Hebrews 12:1 "let us run with endurance the race God has set before us."
My blog--- Thursday, August 5, 2010: Side Note-- I'm scared!
As I stood in the line in the bank today, I found myself being extremely terrified about this entire situation. I found myself wondering, "what if the agency doesn't like us?" "What if they say no?" "What hoops will they try to make us jump through?" WHAT WILL WE HAVE TO DO? We really want this. We have always wanted children, but have never been blessed to have them. I have watched all of my friends as they one by one, become parents, and I sit on the sidelines dreaming for a family one day. Now that I am faced with trying to adopt, I am terrified. What if they don't like our house? What if our normally docile dog, tries to become Cujo right when the Social Worker arrives to do the Home Study? What if the kids are allergic to the our dog? Will we have to give up Sage? Won't we be able to have the kids AND the dog? What exactly are they looking for? Who do they want? Do they want perfect people? What if we don't measure up? Will my previously poor medical history rule us out?
One thing about this, is that from filling out the forms, I feel my hubby and I have tried to keep it light so far. When we were filling out the forms for the criminal background check, he asked me had my evil twin done anything that could stop this, to which I replied by asking him what about his seedy, black-hearted twin? We laughed as he replied that the next time he saw his "twin" he would ask him what had he done in his past, and we placed our signatures on the bottom line granting permission to do the checks, and sealed the deal.
As I stood in line at the bank waiting to get the money order, these are the fears that somewhat overwhelmed me. I think they are normal feelings, yet, it makes me feel all alone. Those who have the capacity to have their own children, do not know how truly blessed they are. You create your family on your own terms, with no one telling you how it should be done. You are truly blessed. While I am eager to go through this, I can't help but feel jealousy towards those able to have their own children. If this doesn't work out for me, where do we go? No where? Does that mean our dream for a family gets deferred and dries up like a raisin in the sun?
We do not have the option of having our own children, so what will happen to our dream? I try not to think of these fears as I secure the money order, and head to the Post Office. All we can do, is pray that it is in God's will that we will be blessed with a child that we can love, a child we can rescue from their pain, and show them how wonderful the world can be, just how much they can and will be truly loved and cherished. A child (or children) to whom we can give their dreams back to them. That is all we can do. I guess this is a time when we must put our fears to the side, pray, and charge forward to see what the end will be.
However, no matter the outcome, I will continue to blog my experience to you, my family. And in the meantime, I will try to be positive, I mean, we have no clue yet exactly WHAT we have to do! All we know right NOW, is that we have successfully completed the first three steps: we have completed the application, we have secured the money order, and we have mailed both the application and the criminal background check fee back to the agency. For now, we must try not to fear the unknown -- which is very hard. For now, we must try to remember that we are doing this with the best of intentions -- we want a family! And so for now....we wait......
One thing about this, is that from filling out the forms, I feel my hubby and I have tried to keep it light so far. When we were filling out the forms for the criminal background check, he asked me had my evil twin done anything that could stop this, to which I replied by asking him what about his seedy, black-hearted twin? We laughed as he replied that the next time he saw his "twin" he would ask him what had he done in his past, and we placed our signatures on the bottom line granting permission to do the checks, and sealed the deal.
As I stood in line at the bank waiting to get the money order, these are the fears that somewhat overwhelmed me. I think they are normal feelings, yet, it makes me feel all alone. Those who have the capacity to have their own children, do not know how truly blessed they are. You create your family on your own terms, with no one telling you how it should be done. You are truly blessed. While I am eager to go through this, I can't help but feel jealousy towards those able to have their own children. If this doesn't work out for me, where do we go? No where? Does that mean our dream for a family gets deferred and dries up like a raisin in the sun?
We do not have the option of having our own children, so what will happen to our dream? I try not to think of these fears as I secure the money order, and head to the Post Office. All we can do, is pray that it is in God's will that we will be blessed with a child that we can love, a child we can rescue from their pain, and show them how wonderful the world can be, just how much they can and will be truly loved and cherished. A child (or children) to whom we can give their dreams back to them. That is all we can do. I guess this is a time when we must put our fears to the side, pray, and charge forward to see what the end will be.
However, no matter the outcome, I will continue to blog my experience to you, my family. And in the meantime, I will try to be positive, I mean, we have no clue yet exactly WHAT we have to do! All we know right NOW, is that we have successfully completed the first three steps: we have completed the application, we have secured the money order, and we have mailed both the application and the criminal background check fee back to the agency. For now, we must try not to fear the unknown -- which is very hard. For now, we must try to remember that we are doing this with the best of intentions -- we want a family! And so for now....we wait......
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010 --- Applying
Today the application arrived just as we were about to go to dinner with my parents. It was all we could do to wait until we got back home to fill it out. My dad is concerned though, he does not want us to get too attached to these two little girls, to only have our hearts broken if we can not adopt THEM, but I am not worried about that at this moment, I just have a peace right now that we will find a child or children that needs us, and all will be ok. I do not create allusions for myself by thinking this will be all roses and lavender flowers, but I do know that there are so many children out there that we can be a blessing to, that even if these two angels do not come with us, there are other angels out there that need us. AND, if those angels get taken before we can get them, then I pray they have found wonderful homes where their new parents will love them and make them feel like the princesses they are!
At any rate, we filled out the papers, there were some questions to it, but together we muddled through it. Our questions were things such as: since I was once a diabetic before losing 142 pounds, do I have to claim it on the form, but I ended up doing so, since I re-read it, and saw that it said, "past, or present." So with in mind, when it gets to the point on the form where we explain the "yes" for an answer, I will explain how I DID have diabetes before, but not now.
Once we filled out the forms, we both signed all papers, and then exchanged and went back over each other's handiwork to ensure that we had signed in all the right places.
Next step? Tomorrow I will go the bank and get a get a money order. You have to begin the process by paying for a criminal background check on both parties wanting to adopt -- my husband and myself. Then, I will personally walk the application packet into the post office to have it weighed, and mailed Priority Mail (I want this DONE, so we can get ready!), so that we can speed up the process in any way possible!
Until next time,
Anticipating Parent
At any rate, we filled out the papers, there were some questions to it, but together we muddled through it. Our questions were things such as: since I was once a diabetic before losing 142 pounds, do I have to claim it on the form, but I ended up doing so, since I re-read it, and saw that it said, "past, or present." So with in mind, when it gets to the point on the form where we explain the "yes" for an answer, I will explain how I DID have diabetes before, but not now.
Once we filled out the forms, we both signed all papers, and then exchanged and went back over each other's handiwork to ensure that we had signed in all the right places.
Next step? Tomorrow I will go the bank and get a get a money order. You have to begin the process by paying for a criminal background check on both parties wanting to adopt -- my husband and myself. Then, I will personally walk the application packet into the post office to have it weighed, and mailed Priority Mail (I want this DONE, so we can get ready!), so that we can speed up the process in any way possible!
Until next time,
Anticipating Parent
My blog -- Monday, August 2, 2010 --- We got a response!!!!!
I woke up this morning to the sweetest sound ever coming from my iPhone = a "ding" to say that I have an email! Normally, this is nothing new, but today, since we have been waiting for more information from the adoption agency, I hurriedly rolled out of bed to check to see who the email was from. It was from THEM!!!! One of the social workers was responding to me to say that if we were still interested, they would be sending us an application packet in the mail. Of course we said YES! So now we are just waiting for the application packet to be sent to us so that we can begin this process......
My blog -- Sunday, August 1, 2010 -- What a sucka punch!
After inquiring about D, we were referred to a link to see a video of her. After watching the video, we learned that she CAN be adopted without her other 4 siblings, but the video of D, included her precious 6 year old sister, B! OMG! We sat there enthralled, watching these two interact in the same chair, laughing and cutting up with the gentleman who who conducted their interview. We found out that they both like Dora, watermelon, and...wait for it...wait for it....THE COLOR PURPLE!!!!! I knew I was in love THEN! My favorite color! Awwwww, how SWEET!
It was funny, because during the course of the video, we were like, wait a minute, we only wanted D, but Oh! B is soooo CUTE! Hey, didn't we only ask about D? But you know, B is a cutie pie! And if you cannot tell, by the time the video was over, we were making plans to find out how we could adopt BOTH of these girls and give them a loving home. We have at this point sent their video to my parents, and others of our family, to see how they feel about these two precious girls who have stolen our hearts. At one point in the video (just to give you an idea of how cute they are), the interviewer asked B what she wanted to be when she grew up, and B said, "A mama." When the same question was directed to Miss D, she quickly quipped, "A daddy!" What a sucka punch! We never stood a chance!
It was funny, because during the course of the video, we were like, wait a minute, we only wanted D, but Oh! B is soooo CUTE! Hey, didn't we only ask about D? But you know, B is a cutie pie! And if you cannot tell, by the time the video was over, we were making plans to find out how we could adopt BOTH of these girls and give them a loving home. We have at this point sent their video to my parents, and others of our family, to see how they feel about these two precious girls who have stolen our hearts. At one point in the video (just to give you an idea of how cute they are), the interviewer asked B what she wanted to be when she grew up, and B said, "A mama." When the same question was directed to Miss D, she quickly quipped, "A daddy!" What a sucka punch! We never stood a chance!
Saturday, July 31, 2010 --- We think we have a winner!
Speaking with my godfather Lee, he informed me that he and my late god mother Barbara Faye, adopted both of their girls from this particular adoption agency, and he suggested we try looking there. After going to the website, I found a little girl named "D," who is a part of a five sibling group! WHOA! We want A child, not too sure about adopting a TRIBE, or a singing group! I placed an inquiry about her, and have received a link of some sort to view her. I will view the link and let you know what we think! We are SO EXCITED!!!!
Friday, July 30, 2010 --- a decision has been made!
Today, after much discussion, we have finally agreed to begin looking into adoption. We have both decided that we do not really want infants, but that we would be very happy with a child around the age of 2 to maybe 9 or so. The exact age however, we have not hammered out yet, and that may be a good thing as we are not quite sure what is out there and available to us. However, we are excited now that we know exactly what we are going to TRY to do. This has been our choice since we both went back to school, that after Tommy finished his degree, and I finished my Master's, that we would look into how we could begin our family since natural means are not an option for us.
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